Newsflash! Mel Gibson's a Racist | February, 2019


What is it about cars?

Yes we all have one… maybe not if you live in Europe because you’re too busy eating croissants, catching public transport and riding bikes...

...yes bravo, bravo! Sanctimonious bastards, always lording it over the rest of us. “Look at our windmills. Look at our solar panels. Look at our cute, little markets with the smelly cheeses. Look at our investment in our children’s futures.”

Well over here, we own cars. Cars, remember them? Big throbbing hunks of metal. Even the smallest one could crush a European bicycle until it looked like a burnt croissant. Cars deserve respect. The kind of respect Grant has...

“To get the extra-low stance he was after, Grant raised the trans tunnel and boot floor. The rear end was mini-tubbed so he could get the rubber sitting just where he wanted it.”

Cars still mean something more to us than greenhouse gas emissions. They're a part of us, inseparable from who we are.

Like a loved one… or a head. Or a loved one’s head.

Without them where would we be? Headless. Loveless. Sad.

Like this guy. I mean that’s Max. What happened to him? He doesn’t look so mad anymore, just broken by a bunch of bad life choices. He should get back in his interceptor and run over some mullets. That would make him feel more like himself.

Cars can do that. They can make us all feel better.

Ok we have to admit that, at The Farm, it took us a long time to get our rubber sitting right. Maybe we spent too much time in Europe eating croissants. We knew cars were useful, but we didn’t really get it. Not like Grant gets it.

That took V.

V is for Volvo. 242. 1979. White as a dove. Blue interior. The fuel gauge doesn’t work but who needs it? Starts first time every time…sometimes second. Safe. Solid. Newly reinforced against bouncy dancers. And all ours…

Disclaimer: Said vehicle (V) is only the property of The Farm inasmuch as it is owned and purchased by the Not For Profit arm of The Farm as pertaining to the Purchase of Motor Vehicles by Artists Act (PMVAA), ratified by the Senator for Cars and Culture, Mel Gibson. The act states that no artists shall be seen to profit from, do donuts in, or substantially enjoy the fruits of their labour when said labour has been federally or state funded. Furthermore, under the amendments made to gift taking and profiteering by The Royal Commission into Art and Fun headed by Senator Gibson, he states “Artists in Australia make enough money going to Hollywood and making Lethal Weapon 1, 2, 3 and 4. Any further enjoyment should be contained and conducted solely in the privacy of their own mansions, safely away from the public sphere and Jews. Furthermore I am still the best Mad Max, because I am definitely, completely mad…”

And now the important part of this newsletter, why does The Farm own a car? Well, now that Bleach* Festival have finally launched we can announce the show we’re making with them (and with V) this year…

Throttle, a live action drive in. It stars V with Farmers Essie, Michael, Kate and Thomas. For research our partners at Performing Lines wanted us to get our hoon on so they took us to the Bathurst for the 12 hour endurance race. We had to leave V at home but we told her all about it when we got back.

See how Farmer Essie really gets it? She's enthralled.

In other news, Dance Massive is happening in March. If you don’t know much about it, well it’s massive and it’s got a lot of dance. We’ll be there representing three shows, CowboyFrank Enstein and Good Little Soldier. Unfortunately V can't make that either, she hates flying.

But to be honest we’ve cleared our schedule for the start of this year because we want V… um Throttle, to get the attention she… it deserves. The only thing we said yes to was when we couldn't say no... the curation of Supercell's Participate program in April. So if you're really missing a bit of Farm in your life go and check that out.

2018 was good for The Farm. We got another 3 years of funding from our awesome local council. We won a Helpmann (you thought we might stop mentioning that didn’t you?) and we made some kick arse work. We had a ball. Are we allowed to say that? Hell yeah, why not? Fuck you Mad Max! And fuck your politics! Last year we made art and had fun and if a 1979 Volvo could do donuts we would definitely do them! All over the place! It would be donut city on the Gold Coast. Not a croissant in sight.

We are PROUD of what we do. We LOVE being The Farm and we definitely have our rubber sitting RIGHT where we want it.

...whatever that means.

The Farm.

Gavin WebberComment